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Euro 2012 quarterfinals: Portugal 1, Czech Republic 0

Ronaldo’s goal deserves a cute elephant with a soccer ball picture!

Cristiano Ronaldo’s million-dollar haircut headed Portugal into a semifinal meeting with either Spain or France with a 1-0 win over a very, very lackluster Czech Republic. Clearly the Czechs were playing for penalties, and they were just, oh, 40 minutes short. Nice try, guys. Portugal outshot them 19-2 and probably should’ve won by three or four goals (Ronaldo hit the post twice). Now we’re at the point where I can start spouting cliches about anything being possible at the Euros and so on. This Portugal team is decent, though they’ll have to ride their luck (and hope Ronaldo keeps scoring) to beat the likes of Spain and France.

Man of the match: Ronaldo. There is no denying his ability to score goals, even if he occasionally does so in an extremely whiny, petulant manner. He now has three in the tourney.

Tomorrow: Germany vs. Greece, 11:45 a.m., ESPN

Euro 2012 quarterfinals preview

Just give us a chance, coach!

Alright folks, the first round is done. Sorry I didn’t get in the final two days of highlights, but they were mostly anticlimactic anyway, except for maybe the disallowed Ukraine goal and the two very good goals from Balotelli and Ibrahimovic. Anyway, on to the quarterfinals! All times Pacific.

Thursday, June 21

Czech Republic vs. Portugal. (11:45 a.m., ESPN) Probably the least expected – and also least boosted by star power of the four games. Which is amazing, considering His Hair Gel is playing. Yes, I mean Cristiano Ronaldo. Nonetheless, it should be a good match. Portugal is favored, but the Czechs have been very good since their tourney-opening thumping at the hands of the Russians. Since neither team could really be called an offensive juggernaut, what happens is pretty much down to how successful the Czechs (and right back Theodor Gebrie-Selassie, who has been quite good so far) contain Ronaldo. The winner of this takes on the winner of Spain-France. Prediction: I want to pick the Czechs, but I just can’t. Portugal 1-0.

Friday, June 22

Germany vs. Greece. (11:45 a.m., ESPN) The other big shock of the tournament so far, with the Greeks coming back to knock off the heavily favored Russians. If they pulled off the upset again, it would be a really really really big upset. It’s not impossible, but this is an aging Greek team, not as defensively sound as in the past, with arguably the worst forward pool in the competition. Germany, meanwhile have stars at every position and are probably the most unstoppable attacking force in the tournament. But hey, it could happen, right? The winner takes on the winner of England-Italy. Prediction: Germany 3-0

Saturday, June 23

Spain vs. France. (11:45 a.m., ESPN2) This is the one game in the quarterfinals that is on ESPN2 – we can only presume that the Tennessee high school girls’ championship is on at this time. The media seemed pretty shocked that France, which was basically qualified by this point, didn’t seem all that upset to lose to Sweden in their final match, thus ceding the group to England and meaning France takes on Spain. Here’s the thing, though: France would probably have to play Spain at some point in the tourney anyway, and the winner takes on either the Czechs or Portugal, far less daunting than a possible semifinal date with Germany. So in a way, it makes sense. the defending champs haven’t lost a match yet, but aside from a 4-0 win over hapless Ireland, they haven’t been convincing. Prediction: France pulls the upset, 2-1.

Sunday, June 24

England vs. Italy. (11:45 a.m., ESPN) As kind of noted in the Spain-France preview, I thought people’s reactions to the seeding from Group D was curious. England fans cheered wildly with news that they were getting Italy instead of Spain in the quarterfinals. It’s true, Spain would probably beat England, but Italy are also very good. There is a question whether an England team with a not quite fit Wayne Rooney, an underperforming Ashley Young, and well, Andy Carroll (I think Danny Welbeck is decent, so I’m not including him) will be able to break down an organized Italian defense. They struggled to do just that against France (no shock there) and Ukraine, and both teams were inept defensively in the match with Sweden, so this will be the English team’s first chance to show they can score goals against a good defensive team. Italy aren’t high scoring, but Andrea Pirlo has played well, and their rotating cast of forwards has shown at least one guy can pop up and put the ball in the back of the net. Prediction: 1-1, Italy wins on penalties.

Euro 2012: Match Day 9-10 highlights

Despite his size, Futbal Kitty had no trouble keeping up with the aging Greek midfield

Sorry for the delay in updating, but if you’re anticipating regular, multiple-post-a-day type stuff the next couple weeks, you’ll be sorely disappointed. But I’ll do what I can. On to the games!

TV schedule

Group A

Greece 1, Russia 0: Greece improbably both qualifies for the quarterfinals and knocks Russia out on the final day, thanks to a goal from Giorgos Karagounis. Russia had 24 shots on goal but failed to score, and after a rousing start to the campaign, throttling the Czech Republic, whimpered their way out of the tournament after a draw with Poland and this game.

Poland 0, Czech Republic 1: The co-hosts continue their pattern of getting out to flying starts to matches, then gradually petering out at the end. In this case, they didn’t even escape with a draw like the last two matches and were eliminated at the first stage. Petr Jiracek scored the loan goal for the Czechs, who rallied satisfyingly to qualify for the next round, but don’t look like a very threatening team, particularly with Milan Baros as the lone striker.

Final Group A standings

*1. Czech Republic 2-0-1, 6 pts
*2. Greece 1-1-1, 4 pts
3. Russia 1-1-1, 4 pts
4. Poland 0-2-1, 2 pts
*Qualified for next round

Player of the Group

Giorgos Karagounis, midfielder, Greece. After one half of their first match, Greece looked dead and buried. After 10 minutes of their second match, Greece looked even more dead and buried. Starting their third match, Greece looked very unlikely to advance to the next round. Then Karagounis stepped up with the lone goal in the match to send them through and break Russian hearts, or at least, they would have if Russians had hearts. He’s 35, but exemplifies the “Never Say Die” (I hate myself right now) attitude that has the Greeks believing they can win this competition like they did in 2004, though let’s be honest: the Greeks aren’t going to win this competition.

Group B

Denmark 1, Germany 2: Arguably the dullest 3-goal match you’ll ever watch ended with the Mannschaft booking their place in the quarterfinals as expected. Goals were scored by new Arsenal signing Lukas Podolski and Denmark’s Michael Krohn-Dehli, then the winner for Lars Bender. It wasn’t a bad showing by the Danes, who were widely expected to finish last in the group and didn’t. Germany was imperious in this round and won’t be satisfied with anything less than the title, though obviously Spain will have something to say about that.

Portugal 2, Netherlands 1: Cristiano Ronaldo finally wakes up and fires Portugal into the second round with a 2-goal match. He probably could’ve had more – he had 12 shots on goal, only two less than the Dutch team. For the Netherlands, who got a goal from Rafael “Play defense? What? Me?” Van Der Vaart and faded meekly with no points from the competition. Considering they were the World Cup runners-up, this has to be considered one of the worst showings from a major team in this tournament in a long time. Well, since France in 2008, anyway.

Final Group B standings

*1. Germany 3-0-0, 9 pts
*2. Portugal 2-0-1, 6 pts
3. Denmark 1-0-2, 3 pts
4. Netherlands 0-0-3, 0 pts
*Qualified for next round

Player of the Group

Mario Gomez, forward, Germany. There were several candidates for this, and though Gomez didn’t score in the final group match, considering that he scored all of Germany’s goals in the other two, I think he was probably deserving. Gomez is often ridiculed by fans, both German and otherwise, but his combination of size and skill will make him extremely difficult for opposing defenses to deal with in this tournament moving forward. It’s saying a lot that his form is keeping Miroslav Klose (63 goals for Germany) on the bench.

Power Rankings

1. Germany (3-0-0, 9 pts). Beat Denmark 2-1. It wasn’t a pretty match, but all Germany had to do against Denmark was not lose. With *what should be* an easy match against Greece, Spain could be their semifinal opponent. Up next: Greece, June 21

2. Spain (1-1-0, 4 pts). Up next: Croatia, June 18

3. Portugal (2-0-1, 6 pts). Beat Netherlands 2-1. No one was really expecting Portugal to advance to the second round, but they were excellent defensively and mostly opportunistic in attack (except for Ronaldo in the first two matches). Can they win this whole thing? Up next: Czech Republic, June 21

4. Czech Republic (2-0-1, 6 pts). Beat Poland 1-0. Group A ended up being much more entertaining than anyone expected, and after getting thumped by Russia, the Czechs made some changes to their squad, came back and were the best team in the group. They deserve their second round appearance, though Portugal will likely be happy to be taking them on. Up next: Portugal, June 21

5. France (1-1-0, 4 pts). Up next: Sweden, June 19

6. Croatia (1-1-0, 4 pts).  Spain, June 18

7. England (1-1-0 4 pts). Up next: Ukraine, June 19

8. Greece (1-1-1, 4 pts). Beat Russia 1-0. After the second match, I thought there was NO WAY that Greece would advance to the next round. They’re missing both central defenders through injury, probably the worst forwards at the Euros, and their two starting midfielders are in their mid-30s. But, they’re in the quarterfinals. Up next: Germany, June 21

9. Ukraine (1-0-1, 3 pts). Up next: England, June 19

10. Italy (0-2-0, 2 pts). Up next: Ireland, June 18

11. Russia (1-1-1, 4 pts). Lost to Greece 1-0. Poor, poor Russians. How does this team look so dynamic to start the tournament, then so wasteful and ineffective by the end. And thanks to fan trouble, they have a six-point deduction in attempting to qualify for the next Euros. Yuck. Up next: отдыхать

12. Denmark (1-0-2, 3 pts). Lost to Germany 2-1. The Danes will be disappointed at having given up the late goal to lose to Portugal, because they could very well be in the quarterfinals now. Nonetheless, it was a mostly good performance by them, except Christian Eriksen, who was terrible. Up next: Enjoying whatever season they’re having in Denmark right now

13. Poland (0-2-1, 2 pts). Lost to the Czech Republic 1-0. The Poles looked lively in attack, speedy and skillful, but couldn’t score goals when it counted. Now there are stories of players blaming mismanagement and not getting enough tickets for their family for the defeat. On the bright side, uhh … I heard Krakow is very beautiful this time of year. Up next: A mess of consonants and ill-fitting vowels

14. Sweden (0-0-2, 0 pts). Up next: France, June 19

15. Ireland (0-0-2, 0 pts). Up next: Italy, June 18

16. Netherlands (0-0-3, 0 pts). Lost to Portugal 2-1. Europe’s six-year love affair with the Dutch is probably over now, so it remains to be seen whether their players will return to Dutch club teams like PEC Zwolle and RKC Waalwijk after playing in the Champions League with the likes of Inter Milan and Bayern Munich the last few years. Up next: In-fighting, bitter recriminations, accusations

Player of the Euros So Far Rankings

1. Mario Gomez, Germany
2. Karim Benzema, France
3. David Silva, Spain
4. Mesut Ozil, Germany
5. Pepe, Portugal

Euro 2012: Match Day 6 highlights

Ronaldo pranced around the field like his teammates owed him in Portugal’s 3-2 win over Denmark

TV Schedule

Portugal 3, Denmark 2: Arguably the best match of the tournament so far. Portugal jumped out into an early lead thanks to goals from Pepe and Helder Postiga, then almost threw it away when Nicklas Bendtner scored twice on headers. In the 87th minute, though, Sylvester Varela took advantage of a broken play to score and give Portugal the three points. Obscured in the win was a horrible performance from Cristiano Ronaldo, who missed two one-on-ones with the keeper and has only scored three goals in his last 15 tournament matches. Denmark were poor, but show great resilience. They’re like the Greeks, except with better players.

Germany 2, Netherlands 1: An efficient, dominating performance from the Germans reminds everyone why they’re one of the favorites to win the tournament. The Dutch, meanwhile, are *this* close to being eliminated, though they can still qualify – I’ll explain how in a bit. Mario Gomez scored twice for Germany, running his total to three in two matches, and Robin Van Persie scored the consolation for the Dutch, though it was another poor performance from him. Germany has essentially qualified for the second round, though maybe if Portugal and Denmark both win, they wouldn’t? Wait, that doesn’t seem right – they beat Portugal. I don’t know.

Group B standings

1. Germany 2-0-0, 6 pts, 3 goals scored, 1 goal against
2. Portugal 1-0-1, 3 pts, 3 gs, 3 ga
3. Denmark 1-0-1, 3 pts, 3 gs, 3 ga
4. Netherlands 0-0-2, 0 pts, 1 gs, 3 ga

Who advances? (I think I got this right)

Germany qualifies with a win or draw against Denmark, or if Portugal fails to beat Netherlands (loss or draw), or if they lose to Denmark by one goal but score at least two goals and Portugal score two or less in beating Netherlands. (Yeah, I know)
Portugal qualifies by beating Netherlands, or if they draw against the Netherlands and Denmark fails to beat Germany. They also would qualify if they lost to Netherlands by a goal, but only if the Netherlands scored 2 or fewer goals and Germany also beat Denmark.
Denmark qualifies if they beat Germany and Portugal fails to beat Netherlands, or if they beat Germany by at least two goals. They would also qualify with a draw if the Netherlands beat Portugal.
Netherlands will qualify if they beat Portugal by at least two goals and Germany beats Denmark.
Next Match Day: June 17

Power Rankings

1. Germany (2-0-0, 6 pts). Beat Netherlands 2-1. A powerhouse performance against Netherlands has the Germans in the driver’s seat to move on – they just need to take care of business against Denmark. Up next: Denmark, June 17

2. Croatia (1-0-0, 3 pts). Up next: Italy, June 14

3. Ukraine (1-0-0, 3 pts). Up next: France, June 15

4. Russia (1-1-0, 4 pts). Up next: Greece, June 16

5. Portugal (1-0-1, 3 pts). Beat Denmark 3-2. Portugal were dominant early on against Denmark, then nearly threw the match away before Sylvester Varela saved them. They might advance to the second round, but Ronaldo needs to play better. Up next: Netherlands, June 17

6. Czech Republic (1-0-1, 3 pts). Up next: Poland, June 16

7. Italy (0-1-0, 1 pt). Up next: Croatia, June 14

8. Spain (0-1-0, 1 pt). Up next: Ireland, June 14

9. France (0-1-0, 1 pt). Up next: Ukraine, June 15

10. England (0-1-0 1 pt). Up next: Sweden, June 15

11. Denmark (1-0-0, 3 pts). Lost 3-2 to Portugal. The Danes were dreadful in the first half against Portugal, then almost came back and drew the match. They need to play better against Germany for the whole match to have any hope of moving on. Up next: Germany, June 17

12. Poland (0-2-0, 2 pts). Up next: Czech Republic, June 16

13. Sweden (0-0-1, 0 pts). Up next: England, June 15

14. Greece (0-1-1, 1 pt). Up next: Russia, June 16

15. Ireland (0-0-1, 0 pts). Up next: Spain, June 14

16. Netherlands (0-0-2, 0 pts). Lost 2-1 to Germany. Another match, another performance devoid of inspiration, good defending or team spirit. Don’t be shocked if the Dutch exit the tournament with no points. Up next: Portugal, June 17

Player of the Day: Mario Gomez, Germany. The often-maligned striker answered his critics with two well-taken goals. He might be the best striker at the tournament.

Disappointment of the day: The Netherlands. Sure, Cristiano Ronaldo had the worst individual performance, but for one of the favorites to win the tournament to be clinging barely to the slimmest hope of qualification for the next round after only two matches is just unacceptable.

Goal of the day: Mario Gomez, Germany

Player of the Tournament So Far Rankings

1. Andrei Shevchenko, Ukraine
2. Mario Gomez, Germany
3. Alan Dzagoev, Russia
4. Mesut Ozil, Germany
5. Pepe, Portugal

Euro 2012: Match Day 2 highlights

Maybe not the best Photoshopping I’ve ever seen …

TV Schedule

Just so you know, I’m probably not doing these highlight stories EVERY day. But i’ll try. Damnit, I’ll try. Anyway, a much duller couple matches today in the so-called Group of Death. But on the bright side, there was a big upset, with my boys in red, the Danes, knocking off the Netherlands.

Power Rankings

1. Russia (1-0-0, 3 pts). Up next: Poland, June 12

2. Denmark (1-0-0, 3 pts). Defeated Netherlands 1-0. No one expects Denmark to keep their lofty spot in the rankings, but they were excellent defensively, well-organized, and looked the more dangerous team despite being outshot 28-8. Up next: Portugal, June 13

3. Germany (1-0-0, 3 pts). Defeated Portugal 1-0. The Germans didn’t play up to their usual high standards in the opener, but three points will have them well on their way toward the second round. They need a bit more urgency, though. Up next: Netherlands, June 13

4. Greece (0-1-0, 1 pt). Up next: Czech Republic, June 12

5. Poland (0-1-0, 1 pt). Up next: Russia

6. Portugal (0-0-1, 0 pts). Lost 1-0 to Germany. Portugal defended well and moved the ball well, but seems to be at a loss how to attack. Ronaldo’s insistence in staying out wide and rarely being involved in the play doesn’t help. Up next: Denmark

7. Netherlands (0-0-1, 0 pts). Lost 1-0 to Denmark. Lost of questions for the Dutch after getting bullied by what was considered the weakest team in the group. Should Klaas Jan Huntelaar start instead of Robin Van Persie? Is Arjen Robben a bad luck charm? They need to figure the answers out, and soon. Up next: Germany

4. Czech Republic (0-0-1, 0 pt). Looked good for, oh, 10 minutes or so against Russia, then were crushed. Can they win a game? Up next: Greece

Player of the Day: Michael Krohn, Dehli, Denmark. The pint-sized winger from Brondby scored the lone goal in the Danes’ upset win, and ran around making a nuisance of himself for the rest of the match.

Disappointment of the day: The favorites. Neither Netherlands nor Germany, who along with Spain are the favorites to win the tournament, played well in their first matches. But at least the Germans won.

Goal of the day: Michael Krohn-Dehli, Denmark

Player of the Tourney So Far Rankings

1. Alan Dzagoev, Russia
2. Michael Krohn-Dehli, Denmark
3. Robert Lewandowski, Poland
4. Andrei Arshavin, Russia
5. Mats Hummels, Germany

Euro 2012: Germany 1, Portugal 0

Who was more angry about Die Mannschaft’s flaccid performance in Game 1, Hitler or Hitler Cat?

A Mario Gomez goal in the second half of the match lifts Germany to the win. Not much really to say about this one. It was by far the dullest match of the tournament so far. After the Dutch lost earlier in the day, it began to look like two of the favorites would open with defeats, but though they came close, Portugal never scored, and this makes the Netherlands’ chance of advancing even more difficult (though not impossible).

For Germany, the usual lightning quick attacking you usually see from them was missing, and they didn’t play with their usual fluency either. Portugal played well, but doesn’t have much creativity in midfield, and as is a common refrain, they haven’t gotten a great performance from Cristiano Ronaldo in ages.

EURO 2012 Preview: Group B

Robin Van Persie, Netherlands

Preview | TV Listings | Group A | Group B | Group C | Group D


Ranking: 4; Qualifying record: 9-0-1; Best finish: Champion, 1988; Coach: Bert van Marwijk; Nickname: Oranje
After their run to the World Cup final, the Dutch will be one of the favorites to win this tournament, though they have some pretty good competition in Germany and Spain and some of the old standbys who haven’t done so well lately (France, Italy, etc …). They’ll have to be careful in what is undoubtedly one of the toughest groups in the competition.
Player to watch: Robin Van Perie. The Arsenal striker scored 37 goals this season in being named the best player in the English Premier League. Though his international record hasn’t been quite so gaudy, he needs to score for the Dutch to win. Probably.


Ranking: 10; Qualifying record: 6-1-1; Best finish: Champion, 1992; Coach: Morten Olsen; Nickname: None. Can I recommend Cykel Maend?
Yes, Denmark have won this tournament before, shocking their way to the title in 1992. It’s unlikely to happen this year, though, as their group is stacked, and this Danish team, Christian Eriksen aside, is fairly uninspired. They did manage to beat out Portugal to automatic qualification, but they probably didn’t expect that would mean that they’d take on Portugal again in the tournament, but oh well, I guess.
Player to watch: Christian Eriksen. The Ajax midfielder is one of the most coveted young players in the game. The question is whether opposing defenses will give him any opportunity to create, since there’s not really any other Cykel Maends who can create anything on offense.


Ranking: 2; Qualifying record: 10-0-0; Best finish: Champion, 1972, 1980, 1996; Coach: Joachim Loew; Nickname: Nationalmannschaft
The Mannschafts are certainly one of the best in the world, but are starting to stray dangerously into the label of “nearly men” (I think that’s an expression British people use) in tournaments, finishing as runners-up at the last Euros and losing in the semis in the last two world cups. With the Spain squad slightly weaker and slightly older than they’ve been for the last eight years, the Mannschafts have to hope that this is their year. But first, they have to beat the dreaded Dutch and Cristiano Ronaldo to advance.
Player to watch: Miroslav Klose. Klose has long been an OK club striker and an outstanding international performer (63 international goals!), but the question is, at 33, how much gas does he have in the tank. If he doesn’t perform to his usual high standards, it’ll be up to Mario Gomez to actually show up at a big match, for once.


Ranking: 5; Qualifying record: 5-1-2 (Beat Bosnia and Herzegovina in playoff); Best finish: Runners-up, 2004; Coach: Paulo Bento; Nickname: Selecção das Quinas
The Portuguese are one of those teams (See: England) that somehow continue to be very highly ranked by FIFA without winning anything. In fact, Portugal have never won any tournaments, so far as I’ve been able to find out. Nonetheless, they’re still ranked in the Top 5. Go figure. Of course, any team with Cristiano Ronaldo is always going to be dangerous – and will have an extremely high hair product bill, no matter where they go. This tourney, their best bet is probably either Germany or Netherlands self-destructing a la France.
Player to watch: Cristiano Ronaldo. The Real Madrid winger had another incredible club season, scoring 60 goals in all competitions, but has never quite raised his game in international play, though if you asked him, he’d probably give himself a 10 out of 10, and the rest of his team, a 7.


June 9

Netherlands vs. Denmark
Germany vs. Portugal

June 13

Denmark vs. Portugal
Netherlands vs. Germany

June 17

Portugal vs. Netherlands
Denmark vs. Germany

Jeremiah says: As boring as it is to overplay the “Oh, the Dutch and Germans will win this!” aspect of the group, the most important match will be the one pitting the two teams against each other on June 13, particularly if one or both of the teams fail to get a full three points in their first matches. Though they’re clearly the two best teams, it wouldn’t be a shock if one of the two collapsed in grand style in this tournament, since that always seems to happen to one of the favorites. And if that does? Well, Portugal probably has the best shot of advancing.


1. Netherlands
2. Germany
3. Portugal
4. Denmark

Handicapping World Cup 2026

By Jeremiah Paschke-Wood

Hi all. Welcome to Only Love Soccer’s at-least-partially tongue-in-cheek look at who might win the right to hold the World Cup in 2026. This year’s “Decision 2010″ as someone, somewhere probably called it was a bit more contentious than usual, with England self-destructing amid a fire of accusations of corruption, Russia (who will host the World Cup in 2018), having their celebrity guest in Vladimir Putin withdraw at the last moment with claims of corruption, and the U.S. and Australia having Morgan Freeman and Hugh Jackman engage in a to-the-death cage match. OK, I made up that last part. Anyway, now that World Cups 2018 and 2022 have been dealt out – to Russia and Qatar, respectively, let’s have a look at who will be trying to get the World Cup in 2026.

China – The Middle Kingdom has been a bit of a football afterthought for, well, its entire history, but with their economy growing by leaps and bounds, the country seemingly embracing a slightly less turbulent view on free speech and minority rights (emphasis on slightly), it seems logical to think that China will make a big push for 2026. The Chinese soccer team has been probably the worst of any major country, but they’ve started to make a bit of progress on the world stage after their painful appearance at the 2002 World Cup (three losses, no goals scored, nine conceded), winning the 2010 East Asian Championship and looking likely to advance deep into the 2011 Asian Cup. With the country’s rapid growth and importance on the world stage, it will be hard for FIFA to justify not letting them have a World Cup, especially with the country’s relative success at hosting the Olympic games in 2008.
Pros: Growing economy; diehard fans; established venues; up-and-coming team; experienced at hosting world events
Cons: Cultural Revolution; big brother; baijiu
Odds: 3-2
Editor’s note: It’s been pointed out, and rightly so, that China can’t get it with Qatar hosting the previous World Cup. Our apologies for this oversight.

United States – English fans might shudder at the thought of their little brothers getting to host another World Cup before they do, but FIFA can’t possibly make the United States wait 36 years between World Cups, can they? Add to that the fact that most soccer pundits, myself included, have been banging the “The U.S. will be a soccer power within x amount of years” drum for quite a while now, and in theory, 2026 or thereabouts should feature an American team of exquisite skill and determination, not unlike Spain 2010.  Or at least, that’s what we’ll say today.
Pros: Americans love to spend money; super-nice venues; lots of money to throw around; theoretically decent team
Cons: The U.S. has a habit of “angering” other countries; FIFA likes to spread the love around a bit; American sports fans tend to be critical of the sport at large
Odds: 2-1

England – The English probably think that they should host every World Cup. Unfortunately, generally speaking, FIFA generally treats England like the prodigal son it’s always ashamed of, which is why it’s hard to ever believe Great Britain will host the World Cup anytime soon. FIFA and UEFA also seem to be openly critical of the dominance of England’s Premier League, though that has seemed to wane a bit the last couple years ago. With that said, it’s also hard to see the country being bypassed again, so if they don’t get World Cup 2026, they will probably at least get one of the European Championships. Surely, right?
Pros: Birthplace of football; world’s most passionate fans; state-of-the-art facilities; established team
Cons: English snobbery; FIFA’s occasionally difficult relationship with the English FA
Odds: 15-4

Australia: For me, if the USA doesn’t get the World Cup, I personally would like to see Australia get it. Why? Well Australia is a great country that has never had a world event of this caliber, at least that I can remember. Imagine watching Slovenia v Uruguay in Perth, then traveling to Sidney to watch China take on the Socceroos with Elle MacPherson. It’s hard to say what state the Australian football team will be in by 2026, but South Africa weren’t exactly dominant in this last World Cup, not sure if you notice that. And Qatar? Does Qatar even have a team? (Yes, I know they have a team.
Pros: Country has never hosted a World Cup; modern country with nice facilities; football team are sort of a modern day Bad News Bears – quirky upstarts you can’t help but cheer for
Cons: It’s not China or the USA, and the English would probably be even more upset if Australia got it and they didn’t than if the US did. “‘At wuz our bloo’y prison colony, innit!”
Odds: 6-1, were they still in the Oceania confederation – unfortunately, now they’re in Asia

Spain/Portugal – Spain and Portugal were probably the runners-up in the bid for World Cup 2018. Both countries have national teams which could be called legitimate world powers, unlike arguably any of the other four countries we have discussed. In addition, their status as also-rans for 2018 might give them a leg up over the competition. With that said, though, I find it hard to believe that the FIFA selection committee could justify giving the World Cup to a non-English-speaking country other than China for 2026. Also, with Spain, you always have to worry about people throwing stuff at officials and players while they’re on the field.
Pros: Beaches; beautiful women; competitive football teams; the 2010 World Champ is from Spain
Cons: Germany hosted a European World Cup in 2006 so FIFA might want to spread it around a bit; those headband string things the Spanish players wear
Odds: 8-1


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